37 things
by I Give Headaches To Aspirin
Summary: If the transformers had an elevator...?
1. The List

_**37 Things to do in an Elevator**_

_**Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"  
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.  
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.  
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.  
5. Meow occasionally.  
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.  
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.  
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.  
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.  
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I have new socks on."  
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"  
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.  
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."  
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.  
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.  
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.  
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"  
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"  
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.  
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.  
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.  
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.  
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.  
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.  
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"  
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.  
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.  
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.  
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."  
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.  
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.  
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.  
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"  
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.  
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."  
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."  
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare at the wall and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."**_


	2. An Accomplice

Air

Megatron was bored. And that was _not _a good sign. People usually got hurt or _extremely _annoyed hen he was bored. He had signed a treaty with the Autobots a while ago when he finally he could take it no longer. With a growl of annoyance he got up, walked out of the base and flew off, leaving a crowd of confused Decepticons behind him.

He soon landed at the Autobot base and walked in. He was greeted by a few Autobots as he walked through. He came to the rec room, which was empty and sat at a table to think. A grin of excitement formed on his face as an idea popped into his head. He just needed someone to help him.

He saw a tired looking Prowl walk into the room, get some energon, and sit at a table a few away from him. The tactician's doorwings were drooping and his head was almost on the table. Megatron felt sorry for him as he watched the SIC. He had so much to deal with, and the twins didn't make the poor doorwinger's job any easier. He walked over and sat across from Prowl.

"Mechs giving you trouble again?"

"Yeah, not just the twins this time though."

"Then who is it if it's not just the twins?"

"...everyone." Megatron stared at the SIC in disbelief. _Everyone?_ That had to be hard to deal with.

"Wanna get them back?"

"...How?" Megatron grinned and leaned in, whispering the idea into the other mech's audio. A rare smile of his own graced Prowl's faceplates as he listened.

_Ahhh, this would be fun._


	3. The Madness Begins

The Madness Begins 

Sunstreaker was annoyed. He had been out on patrol and been forced into a muddy puddle by one of the human's cars.

"Stupid humans, ruining my paint job, they should learn how to fraggin drive." He pressed the button for the elevator, about to head straight to the wash racks. Megatron was in there, he tried to ignore him as the elevator went up. For some strange reason, Megatron had a bag, suddenly; he opened it and peered inside.

"Psst, got enough air in there?" Sunstreaker stared at the Decepticon overlord, wondering if he should go and get Ratchet. Megatron seemed to have lost his processor on the way up. He watched as Megatron closed the bag and looked up again.

"What you looking at?" He got off on the next floor, leaving Sunstreaker to stare after him, wondering what had just gone on.

Megatron walked into the rec room. Prowl was sat a table, laughing at the large TV screen, where an image of what Megatron had just done playing on there.

"Primus, i don't think I've ever seen him _that_ freaked out." The tactician bent double, his doorwings shaking as he was overcome by another wave of laughter. Megatron joined in, glad to see the SIC feeling better.

"Your turn Prowl." Prowl looked up, instantly interested. Megatron whispered the prank into his audio and he grinned.

He would show everyone that he could pull a prank.


	4. Stop And Stare

Stop and Stare

Wheeljack had always been a shy mech. He was most confident in his lab with his inventions, which was strange as they seemed to explode a lot.

Like his latest one.

He groaned as he lifted his head up from the floor and then glared at the stated of the room. It would take _hours _to clean it. Soot covered every surface, including him, and singed pieces of metal from his invention were scattered across the room. He sighed and got up, moaning in pain as he did, and walked out of the door, heading for the elevator. He needed to get cleaning supplies from the storage closet. Prowl was already in the elevator, with his back to the door.

"Hey Prowl." There was no answer. "Uh, Prowl?" Still no answer, the SIC just kept on staring at the wall, not even blinking. Wheeljack backed away slightly. The tactician was starting to freak him out. Prowl suddenly turned his head and stared at the engineer, which freaked him out even more. The doors opened with a 'ding' and Wheeljack ran out, resisting the urge to scream as he did.

Prowl watched stony faced, and then pressed a button. He walked to the rec room and saw Megatron laughing at the screen, along with a few other Autobots and a few Decepticons who had stopped to watch. They clapped as they spotted Prowl, who smirked and gave a slight bow, then sat down next to Megatron. Jazz walked over.

"Hey, mind if i get in on this action?" Prowl and Megatron looked at each other, and then back at Jazz. They nodded and Jazz grinned.

The team elevator chaos now had 3 members.


	5. Those Damn Doors

Hope you guys are enjoying this so far :D

Those Damn Doors

Red Alert walked into the elevator, feeling nervous about it, he was always worried that it would get stuck, but the twins' latest prank had put the stairs out of order, so he had no choice but to take the elevator. Jazz was in there already.

"Hey Red, how'z it goin, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Jazz, you?"

"Yeeeah, I'm fabulous."

Red Alert pressed the button for the floor which the security office was on and tried not to purge as the elevator went up. When it stopped Jazz walked towards the doors and for some reason tried to yank them open. Red Alert stared at the saboteur. Had he completely lost it? They opened and Jazz darted back, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I knew they were gunna open like that really. Course i did, what do you take me for?" Jazz walked out and the security officer stared after him.

Now he had another thing to worry about. Jazz's insanity.

Jazz walked to the rec room, starting to laugh as he walked. The look on Rec Alert's face had been priceless. He walked in and looked at all of the mechs laughing. The TIC froze as he spotted Prime sitting at a table with Prowl and Megatron, but loosened up as he noticed that the commander was chuckling. Prowl looked up as he noticed Jazz walking forward.

"We have 4 members now." The mech grinned. Jazz looked at Optimus in shock.

"What? Do you seriously think you're the only ones who want to have fun?"

Jazz laughed and sat down at the table, discussing the next prank. This was going to be _great!_

Review please, I'm like a chocoholic and reviews are chocolate, GIMME!


	6. Admiral

Admiral

Ironhide was heading for the training room. He was dying to shoot something. He had been going crazy ever since both factions had truced, what he wouldn't give to shoot some cons again, but he knew that was impossible now.

He walked into the elevator and saw Prime leaning in the corner with his head down.

"Afternoon Sir."

Optimus looked up. For some strange reason...he had a moustache on his face.

"Ironhide, My frienda. My namea isa Admiral." He was also speaking in an Italian accent and shaking his hand vigorously.

"Oooookaaaay, Fair enough, if you say so." Optimus then started randomly rambling to him about Italian things a=while Ironhide gradually backed up towards the doors. They opened and the weapons specialist fell through and landed on his aft. He stared at Optimus for a moment before scrambling up and running to the training room as fast as his legs could carry him.

Optimus walked to the rec room, removing the fake moustache as he entered.

"Well done Prime."

"Thank you Prowl. Megatron, i believe that it's _your_ turn now, am I correct?"

"Yes Prime, you are."


	7. Here Kitty Kitty

Here kitty kitty

If there was one thing Perceptor hated, it was cats. The horrible organic furballs. They seemed to swarm the place. The streets, the human's homes, they were _everywhere. _He walked into the elevator, he had to get to his lab, he had figured some equations for an experiment out and he wanted to try them out immediately. Megatron was in the elevator already. Perceptor tried to ignore the mech as the elevator moved down to the second floor.

_Meow._

Perceptor froze. T-There was a cat in here. No, it had to be something else.

_Meow._

_Meow._

The scientist looked over at Megatron. The leader looked perfectly innocent.

"C-Can you hear...cat noises?" The overlord stared at him.

"Nooooo."

"Okay."

_Meoooooow._

_Hiiiiisssssss. _

_Spit. _

_Meooooooooow._

Perceptor almost jumped through the roof of the elevator. The doors opened and he ran out and straight to his lab, diving under the berth in there, shuddering in fear. He could still hear the meows.

_Meeeow._

"AHHH!" Jazz darted up. Megatron was standing behind him, laughing at him, Prowl and Optimus were also laughing. He must have fallen into recharge.

"What was that for?" Jazz whined.

"You wouldn't want to miss Prowl's turn because you were recharging would you?" Jazz perked up.

"Prowlers turn? Pit no, i wouldn't want to miss that."

They watched the screen, ready as Prowl walked out of the room. Next victim...Ratchet.


	8. Evil

Evil

Ratchet cursed under his intakes as he walked down the hall. The twins had pranked him _again. _He was getting _sick_ of their immature attitudes. They had painted his med-bay bright _pink, _rearranged his tools _and _stuck multicoloured pom-poms all over the room. He entered the elevator, all set to go and see Prime. Prowl was in the elevator.

AS the elevator rose up, Ratchet noticed that Prowl was staring at him, in fear.

"Prowl?" He didn't move. Ratchet was honestly getting scared for the mech. He looked like the Unmaker himself had walked into the room and tried to flirt with him.

"Prowl, are you okay?"

Prowl was backing away from him.

"_You're one of __**them**_." Ratchet stared at Prowl. What in the pit did he mean by that? He poked Prowl and the tactician practically had a fit.

"_EVIIIILLLL! ONE OF THEEEM! GET AWAAAAY!" _Prowl wailed at him. The doors opened and Prowl ran out, wailing like a frightened sparkling, leaving a slightly disturbed medic behind. The doors shut again and Prowl stopped wailing. He walked into the rec room with an emotionless face. Everyone was staring at him in disbelief. Megatron started laughing in shock.

"I didn't think you'd be able to pull that off."

"Guess i proved you wrong, Jazz, your turn."

"ALRIGHT!" Jazz ran out of the room as soon as he heard what was next on the list.


	9. Ding

Ding

Kup was sick of young bots. They were always so over-confident and egoistic. Sunstreaker was one of the worst, he gets a scratch on his paintjob and suddenly it was the end of the world. Prowl wasn't so bad, especially with the paintjob thing, if he came back from a battle with scratches, he didn't even care. He just got it buffed up and redone after Jazz dragged him away from his reports. But the rest of the young bots were so immature, Kup just wanted to strangle them.

He pressed the button for the elevator and waited for it to arrive at that floor. Jazz was there looking kind of strange, but Kup couldn't figure out _why._

He pressed a button and Jazz suddenly made a ding noise.

_Ding._

Ironhide got into the elevator and pressed a button.

_Ding_.

Hound and Mirage.

_DING._

Everyone in the elevator jumped. The sounds continued for a while as the elevator picked up different mechs. Then them came to Jazz's floor and he departed with another...

_DINNG._

They stared after him as he rounded the corner.

What was _wrong _with that mech?

Jazz entered the rec room and laughed as a _DING _noise came from Prowl.

"Your turn Optimus." The Autobot commander grinned under his facemask and stood, leaving the rec room and leaving excited mechs in his wake.

Hope you guys are enjoying this. Review please. Or fave and alert if you want, those are just as good even though i prefer reviews cuz i can _feel _those a little more.

Just like the Cybertronians are now feeling the weirdness of some certain mechs.

XD


	10. I Wonder

I wonder...

Silverbolt hated the elevator; it just heightened his fear of heights. He tried to avoid it as much as possible but the stairs were still out of order. He pressed the button and the elevator doors opened revealing Optimus Prime inside.

"Hello Silverbolt."

"Hey Prime." He pressed the button and they started going up. Silverbolt resisted the urge to scream as they did.

"Hmmmm, i wonder what _these _buttons do." Prime pressed all of the buttons and Silverbolt stared in horror.

"Heeey, they look just like a Christmas tree." Optimus chuckled.

"Y-You're crazy."

"Is that any way to speak to a superior officer? No. So shut up." Silverbolt stared at him in confusion and disbelief. The Prime was grinning like a megalomaniac. At the next floor Silverbolt leapt through the doors before they shut again. He would take his chances with the stairs. He'd fly down them if he had too, but he was _not _going back into the elevator with _that __**maniac**__._

Optimus walked into the rec room after freaking out a few more bots at sat down at the table full of laughing mechs. After they stopped laughing, they started to talk about the list of pranks. They looked up as Barricade walked over.

"H-Hey, do you mind if...I try some pranks?"

The four members of the elevator chaos team looked at each other. They made their decision. Prowl leaned forward and whispered a prank into Barricade's audio. The Decepticon's optics widened and he gave a small smile. This would be fun.

I'm making Barricade a kind of shy and quiet character who wanted a try at something to make himself looked braver or prove to everyone that he isn't _that _shy. I hope you like him like that. I know_ I_ do.


	11. Here Comes The Boom

Glad you changed your mind about my fic Ms. Anonymous Smith. Hope you enjoy the rest of it. As i enjoy writing this. The title for this is actually the title of a song, here comes the boom. It is owned by Nelly, not me.

Here Comes the Boom

Soundwave had adapted to the peace treaty very well. He found himself playing music most of the time, having _fun _with his cassettes, which shocked everyone as they thought he was emotionless, and he had started to come out of his shell a little. He had made friends with a few of the cons, Barricade being one of them. The mech was shy and quiet, but he was very friendly and was always there when you needed him most.

Soundwave pressed the button on the elevator to go to his quarters. He had left his cassettes there when he went to get some energon for them all. Barricade was in the elevator and Soundwave smiled as he entered.

"Hello Barricade."

"Hey Wave." The con's voice never ceased to amaze Soundwave, it was quiet, but almost had a musical tone to it.

Soundwave pressed the button for a floor.

_Boom._

The telepath turned and stared at Barricade, smirking at him.

"Let me guess, an elevator prank." Barricade nodded. More mechs started entering the elevator and every time they pressed a button, the black and white con made an explosion sound. Before long everyone was watching him. And for once in his life, Barricade didn't care, he was having fun. He got off on the rec room floor and waved to Soundwave who waved back.

He walked to the rec room and took in the sight of the laughing mechs. He gave a wide smile as he sat at the table the Chaos team had been using.

"well guys, we should take a break and recharge, it's late now."

"Agreed." Everyone said simultaneously. They got up and went to their quarters. As Barricade lay on his berth, falling into recharge, he grinned as he realised that he felt more confident.

And he felt great.

Chaos is the official name of the little team they've got going on.

Megatron, Prowl, Jazz, Optimus Prime and Barricade.

Such a great team, don't you think XD. Maybe I'll do a sequel to this, but with different pranks, obviously. Hmmm, I'll keep that in mind.


	12. Socks

Socks

Swoop didn't usually have to take the elevator. But the latest of the twins' pranks had left him unable to fly. His wings were _covered _in bright green goo. And it weighed a _ton_. He reached up and pressed the button for the elevator. Megatron was in there.

"Me Swoop no like you."

Megatron was staring at him, grinning creepily. Swoop tried to ignore him as the elevator went down. When Swoop looked up again, Megatron was still grinning.

"I have new socks on."

It was Swoop's turn to stare now. Had the Decepticon commander completely lost his processor this time? He didn't know. What he _did _know is that he wanted to get out of this elevator _now. _Primus seemed to answer his prayers as the doors opened. He dashed out and ran down the hallway, straight for the med-bay so he could get this goo of and hopefully never have to take the elevator again.

Megatron walked into the rec room and watched the laughing mechs. Barricade was smirking but he wasn't laughing. Megatron wished that the mech wasn't so shy sometimes, he was sure that Barricade's life would be far more fun if he wasn't, instead he was so shy that he hid his true self away from everyone.

"Your turn Jazz." The saboteur stood and walked out with a grin.


	13. Beeper

Beeper

Ultra Magnus was proud of everyone in the army. They had finally gained peace with the Decepticons.

The war was finally over.

The only thing he _wasn't _happy about was the amount of pranks a lot of the mechs were doing lately.

He sighed as he took in the number of datapads sat on the desk.

He sat down and slowly worked his way through them. Most of them were about pranks.

And the stairs were...out of order.

He finally finished the reports with a smile and stood up. He walked to the elevator and pressed the button

He waited a minute until the elevator arrived and stepped inside.

"Hello Jazz."

"Hey Magnus. How's it goin?"

"Fine Jazz." There was silence. He saw Jazz looked around.

"Is that your beeper?" Ultra Magnus took a minute to process the information.

"W-What?"

"Never mind. I thought I heard something." The elevator arrived at Jazz's floor and he left without another word.

Ultra Magnus stared after him before the doors closed and the elevator went up.

Jazz walked into the rec room with a grin on his faceplates. They Elevator Chaos group were laughing.

"The look on his face was priceless." Megatron managed to get out before falling into a fit of giggles again.

"Hey Prowl. Your turn." Prowl got up and exited.


	14. Personal Calls

Personal Calls 

Starscream hated the elevator. All fliers did. It was a small space and seekers were claustrophobic.

He walked into the elevator and looked at the Autobot SIC. He looked too innocent for his liking.

The seeker pressed the button for the top floor and cringed as it went up.

Prowl suddenly pressed the button for the emergency elevator comm link.

"HEEEY JAZZ!" He yelled into the comm.

Starscream stared at him.

"HEEEY PROWL! HOWZ IT GOIN!" Jazz yelled through the comm right back.

"FINE! HOW BOUT YOU!"

"GREAT!"

"THAT'S GOOD!" Prowl took his finger off of the button and stepped back.

He looked at Starscream.

"What are _you _looking at?" Starscream stayed frozen in a staring match with the Autobot before the doors opened and he leapt out.

Prowl pressed the button for his floor, got out and walked to the rec room.

Barricade smiled shyly at him. "Good one Prowl."

Prowl smiled back at the smaller mech gently. He knew quite a few mechs like barricade. You had to be careful with them, like glass, you had to be careful so that it didn't break.


	15. Chalk

Chalk

Smokescreen was the Autobot psychiatrist. He prided himself on keeping the army sane. When they lost it a little Smokescreen almost always succeeded.

Almost.

He walked to the elevator, pressed the button and got in.

Optimus was already there.

"Afternoon sir."

"Good afternoon Smokescreen. Are you having a good day?"

"Yes sir. Are you?"

"Yes, or I would be if people stopped invading my personal space." Smokescreen stared at his leader.

"You know what..." Optimus got out an Autobot sized piece of chalk and drew a square around him.

"This is my personal space. No one is allowed in." Smokescreen was lost for words as he stared at the Prime. He didn't know whether he was insane or not...but he wanted out of this elevator _now._

He leapt out of the elevator the second the doors opened and ran to his room. Optimus pressed the button and got out when it arrived.

Everyone grinned at him as he entered.

"I think Smokey is the one with mental problems now."

"Yeah, you scarred him for life."

"Way to go Prime."

"Barricade, it's your turn." Optimus said to the small mech. Barricade suddenly looked nervous. Optimus whispered the prank into his audio and the mech look outright _scared._

"I-I...don't." Prowl put a comforting hand on the mech's shoulder.

"It's okay Cade. It's just a prank. What have you got to do?" Barricade whispered the prank to him.

"Ah, I can see why you're hesitant. Look, just ignore everyone there, I can comm sound wave and ask him to be there." Barricade nodded quickly before the tactician changed his mind.

Prowl commed Soundwave and Barricade got up and walked out of the rec room and towards the elevator.


	16. Hug

My bad. This is prank 15 when I should have obviously done 14 first.

Oops.

Ah well, I'll do that next. And I'm an angst writer so I could resist people okay. Plus I wanted an explanation for Barricade's shyness.

Hug

Soundwave entered the elevator and gave Barricade a comforting look. The smaller mech really didn't want to do this prank.

After a while, Soundwave, the twins, Bumblebee, Ratchet and First Aid were in the elevator. It was getting to Barricade's floor so Soundwave gave his friend a gentle nudge.

Barricade almost jumped through the roof of the elevator. He looked back at the telepath with such a look of hopelessness and depression that Soundwave nearly stumbled in shock.

Barricade shyness was worse than they thought.

It came to Barricade's floor and Soundwave started the prank instead. Soundwave made a sound like he was crying and hugged everyone.

This sparked Barricade's confidence a little and he hugged a few mechs, saying he'd never forget them in an emotional tone before wrapping his arms around Soundwave and walked out. Soundwave kept up the crying noise until the doors shut and then he stopped.

"Thanks Wave..." Barricade said, staring at the wall.

"Barricade...why are you always so shy?" Barricade looked hesitant before looked the other Deception right in the optics.

"Promise you wont tell anyone."

"I promise."

"...My father always used to put me down as a kid. Whenever I did something good...h-he'd act like I'd done something wrong. I ignored it but then he started the abuse." He turned and retracted the armour on his neck, showing Soundwave the deep finger marks there.

"I hated him so much. Once I tried to end it all." He retraced the armour on his wrists and showed his friend the deep scars on them.

"But I c-couldn't do it. I got too s-scared. So I ran a-away. Then he f-found me and tried to k-kill me so I joined the D-Deceptions." Barricade was on the verge of tears now. Soundwave looked at his small friend in pity and then captured him in a comforting hug.

Barricade burst into tears against him, wrapping his arms around the telepath and letting out the tears he had held back for so long.

Soon, Barricade stopped crying and Soundwave wiped the tears off of his faceplates. He retraced his face mask and visor and smiled at the black and white mech.

"It's okay Cade. If your father is still alive, we'll protect you. There isn't any reason to be shy anymore, he's not here." They walked back to the rec room in silence.

"Hey what took you guys so long?" Jazz said jokingly, grinning. He stopped when he saw the state of Barricade.

"Hey Cade, what's wrong?" Barricade hesitated again but smiled up at Soundwave when he placed a comforting hand on his arm.

Barricade quietly repeated what he had told Soundwave and leaned against the telepath for support afterwards.

Support Soundwave was only too happy to give.


	17. Tap

Tap

Shockwave wasn't in the mood to speak to _anyone _that day. He'd had the Cassettes pranking him all day and he was sick of it.

When he had gone to Soundwave about it, the telepath had just said 'what can I do about it?' before turning back to Barricade.

Shockwave swore something was going on between those two. Barricade seemed to be coming out of his shell a little and Soundwave seemed to be following the smaller mech around like a puppy.

He got into the elevator and mentally grimaced as he saw Soundwave in there.

"Hello Shockwave."

"Hello Soundwave." Soundwave laughed and Shockwave stared at him. Soundwave just stared at the wall.

Shockwave faced forward again and tried to ignore the telepath as much as possible.

He felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at Soundwave. He wasn't doing anything.

He turned back and felt the tap again. Soundwave looked a little _too _innocent now.

"Soundwave."

"Yes."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Tapping me on the shoulder."

"What _are _you talking about Shockwave." Shockwave was starting to get annoyed. Before he could go off on a full scale rant, the doors opened and Soundwave walked out. Leaving him there.

Soundwave walked into the rec room and was met with a smiling Barricade.

"Nice one Wave. You really annoyed him." Soundwave smiled back and put a hand on Barricade's lower back, leading him back to the table.

"Megatron, you're up." The telepath said, sitting down and pulling Barricade to his side. He remembered Shockwave's thoughts.

_Yup, there __**is **__something going on between me and Barricade._


	18. Push The Button

Push The Button

Ratchet wasn't in the mood for jokes after the twins.

They had been in the med-bay annoying him for hours.

They just wouldn't go away.

He was heading to his quarters for some well deserved recharge, if there were any injured mechs, First Aid could deal with them.

He'd had enough.

He walked into the elevator as it opened. The doors were just about to shut when a grey hand stopped them from closing.

Megatron stepped in and grinned at the medic. Ratchet simply nodded. They got to the next floor and Sunstreaker walked in.

Ratchet glared at the grinning Lamborghini. The yellow mech went to press the button when Megatron stopped him.

"I wanna press it."

"Oooookaaaay..." Megatron pressed 6 instead of 4. Ratchet watched curiously. Sunstreaker finally got the right floor and stepped out, replaced with Sideswipe soon enough.

Megatron did the same. Pressing 7 (Ratchet's floor) instead of 2. Ratchet was secretly grinning behind Sideswipe's back now.

He was starting to like Megatron.

They got to Ratchet's floor and Sideswipe walked off, not waiting to get to his floor when Megatron was in the elevator.

Ratchet was about to step out when he stopped. He turned and looked at Megatron.

"Thanks." Megatron grinned and pressed his button.

"Anytime." The doors shut and the medic went off in a better mood than he had been before he entered that elevator.

Megatron walked into the rec room and sat at the table.

"Prowl."

The SIC got up and walked out without a word.


	19. Greg

**_Sorry for the massive delay in all my fics. I'm having trouble over going on . I'm not supposed to be on here so shhh. I'm going to try my best to continue some fics but I'm going to bring a lot of them to quick endings. So sorry._**

Greg

Hot Shot whistled tunelessly as he walked down the hallway to the elevator.

He pressed the call button and waited for the elevator to arrive.

The doors were about to close when Prowl held, them open, jumped in, and then kept them open.

"Uh, Prowl."

"I'm waiting for someone."

They stood in silence for half a minute before Prowl let the doors shut.

"Hi Greg, how's your day been?"

Hot Shot stared, was he going crazy.

He got off on the next stop and shook his head, he needed to get off the high grade.


	20. Mine

Mine!

Optimus walked into the elevator behind Starscream and grinned.

This was going to be fun.

He dropped th pen on the floor as the elevator started going up and pretended he hadn't noticed it.

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Starscream coughed.

He bent down to pick up the pen.

That's my que. Optimus thought.

"THAT'S MINE!" He yelled, grabbing the pen and holding it to him protectively. "THEIF!"

He ran out of the elevator and towards the rec room, leaving Starscream staring after him.

"Whose next?"

"ME!" Jazz yelled, running out of the room.


	21. Smile

Smile!

The Ariel bots got into the elevator, not really liking the confined space.

Jazz followed them in and grinned.

"S'up mechs?"

"Nothing much."

"Same old."

"Slingshot ran his mouth off again."

The elevator went up and just before they got to Jazz's floor, he took out a camera.

He snapped a picture of them screaming "SMILE!" Before running out.

It took the Ariel bots those vital few minuted that the elevator took to close it's doors for them to realise what had just happened.

Jazz stared at the picture, laughing his aft off at the shocked look on the bots faces.

That prank never got old.


	22. Danger

Danger

Red Alert got into the elevator, feeling on edge. He didn't want to be stuck in this if it broke down.

Barricade walked in and gave him a shy smile.

The doors closed.

"I can't believe this."

Red Alert stared. "What?"

"You don't have an emergency procedure poster in here? That's terrible. What if we get stuck."

He spun around, staring up at the security director.

"Did you know that if the wired snap, we could fall to our deaths? If that happens, pray to Primus and lie on the floor."

"Lie on the floor?" Who knew such a small mech could make someone so nervous.

"You'll die quicker, less distance between the floor and you."

Red Alert pressed the button quickly and jumped out.

"REMEMBER WHAT I SAID! IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE OR END IT QUICKER!"


	23. Fly

Fly

Perceptor got into the elevator, looking over a datapad of scientific...nonsense.

He looked up when Optimus entered the elevator and nodded in greeting.

The doors closed and the elevator rose up.

He stopped and stared at Prime when he whipped his hand through the air.

He did it again a few seconds later.

"Sir?"

"Damn flies, they never leave me alone."

He was swatting at the air and almost spun around in a complete circle at one point.

The doors opened and Perceptor slowly backed out.

Why was everyone acting so _weird?_


	24. Group Hug

Group Hug

Ironhide, Kup, Ratchet, Shockwave, Thundercracker and Megatron got into the elevator.

Kup pressed the button and the elevator went up.

The group were on edge, due to the even number of mechs from each faction in there.

The elevator got to Megatron's floor and he suddenly yelled out "GROUP HUG!" before grabbing everyone and forcing them into it.

Then he ran out leaving everyone staring after him.

Well that wasn't something you saw every day.


	25. Zoom Zoom

Zoom Zoom

The minibots got into the elevator, talking about the days events.

Soundwave got into the elevator and they shifted uneasily at the difference in size before talking again.

Brawn exited the elevator, followed by a loud race car noise.

_Zoom_

Everyone in the lift stopped, and _stared_ at the telepath.

"Soundwave?"

He stayed perfectly quiet, staring at the doors.

There was silence for a moment before Bumblebee slowly got off the elevator.

_Zoom_

Everyone stared at the telepath again, who was unknowing to them, grinning behind his facemask.

Ah, this was fun.


	26. Congrats

Congrats

Sunstreaker got into the elevator, admiring his shining paint in the mirrors.

Jazz walked in after him and shook his head. The yellow mech was more vain than a mirror.

The elevator went up and then the doors opened.

Jazz grinned at Sunstreaker. "Hey, congrats for being in the same lift as me!"

He ran out before Sunstreaker could reply. He didn't really want to hear the reply after seeing the shocked look on Sunstreaker's face.


	27. Shut Up

Shut up

First Aid got into the elevator and tensed when Prowl followed him in.

Ratchet had told him about Prowl screaming that he was evil and running out of the elevator wailing like a sparkling. It sounded like the tactician wasn't mentally stable in the slightest.

He really didn't want to deal with something like that at the moment.

He pressed the button, all set to ignore the SIC and hope that he didn't have another mental breakdown.

He stiffened when he heard the tactician growl.

He hesitated before looking over at Prowl.

The SIC was now smacking his forehead. "Shut up all of you, just SHUT UP!"

First Aid quickly pressed the button for the next floor and practically leapt out of the doors, running down the hallway.

He was getting Smokescreen to have a psychiatry appointment with the tactician as soon as possible.


	28. Human What

Human what?

Ratchet walked into the elevator, just coming back from having to calm First Aid down.

Apparently he had been in the middle of one of the tactician's scenes as well.

He entered the elevator and waited as it went up a floor before stopping.

Jazz walked in with a cooler.

'Human Head' was on the side.

Ratchet gaped at the cooler.

Jazz looked at him.

"S'up Ratchet?"

Ratchet just kept staring before he got to his floor and stumbled out.

What was _with _everyone lately?


	29. Hide it

Hide it

Sentinel Prime growled as he stomped towards the elevator.

The reports that had been poring in lately all contained info on six mechs.

Megatron, Optimus, Prowl, Jazz, Soundwave and Barricade.

3 Cons and the 3 head command staff on the ark.

And they had been acting like mental patients all week.

Bots were uneasy when it came to using the elevator but had no choice due to the stairs being out of order.

He pressed the button to call the elevator.

The doors opened.

"Hide it, quick!"

He stared at Megatron and Optimus as he entered. Both were whistling innocently.

Sentinel didn't have any evidence at the minute, but he would catch them out.

Then they would be having a good long session with Smokescreen.


	30. Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Starscream entered the elevator and shifted uneasily.

He hated using the elevator.

The small space made him feel claustrophobic.

Barricade got into the elevator after him and pressed the button.

It was silent for a moment before Starscream heard a ringing.

Barricade's comm link.

It kept on ringing, making Starscream's audio's do the same and his wings itch.

"Your comm link is ringing."

Barricade looked up at him.

"And?"

"Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Nope."

Starscream's optic twitched and just as he was about to shoot Barricade, he left the elevator, leaving the seeker with no one to fight.

Starscream's scream of rage followed Barricade down the hallyway, making him smirk.

He answered his comm link.

"You're up Wave."


	31. Buried Alive

Buried Alive

Ironhide and Kup got into the elevator, comparing war stories.

Soundwave followed them in and was at first listening to them talk.

"This reminds me of being buried alive, ah, those were the days."

Ironhide and Kup stopped, staring at the telepath who looked like he was in another universe.

They slowly inched away from the con towards the sides of the elevator before the doors opened and they quickly walked out.


	32. Shoes

Shoes

Bumblebee got into the elevator followed by the other minibots.

Megatron was already in there and was staring at them in disgust.

"What?" Brawn asked.

"You lot are disgusting, walking in here with those shoes on, how disgusting."

He exited the elevator, tutting loudly and leading the confused minibots.

Since when did they wear shoes?

Smokescreen was going to have his hands full.


	33. Is that your final answer

Is that your final answer?

Shockwave got into the elevator, nearly sighing in relief when he saw that Soundwave wasn't there.

The mech was downright creepy.

And he seemed to be hanging around with Barricade more than ever.

The last he had seen of the two, they had been sat in the rec room. Soundwave's arm slung around Barricade's shoulder and his head on top of the smaller mechs. They were sat at the table with the **insane **group.

He would have to go and see Smokescreen.

Optimus entered and stared at him.

"What?"

"What floor do you want?"

"Oh. ...2."

"Is that your final answer?" Optimus said dramatically.

Soundwave stared at him. "Uh...yeah."

Optimus pressed the button.

It was silent before the doors opened again and Optimus walked out, the 'Who wants to be a millionaire?' music following him out.

He was definitely going to see Smokescreen as soon as possible.


	34. Ashamed

Ashamed

Shockwave had only just gotten rid of Optimus before Megatron entered.

He grinned at the purple mech.

"Which floor since Optimus probably just ruined it?"

"5." Smokescreen.

Megatron stared at him before tutting. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

He pressed the button and his own before getting off on the next floor.

Shockwave's optic twitched violently.


	35. Did you feel that

Did you feel that?

Ratchet and First Aid got into the elevator.

They were both going to see Smokescreen to discuss the mental state of six mechs in the ark.

Prowl got into the elevator and they froze.

The mechs blue optics fixed on them, making them shift uneasily, before he looked back at the doors.

The tactician had them on edge.

It was silent apart from their intakes before Prowl suddenly turned to them, his optics wide.

"Did you feel that?"

The doors opened and the two medics leapt out, running towards Smokescreen's office.

They had to speak the the psychiatrist _NOW!_


	36. Aura

Aura

Thundercracker got into the elevator, a little uneasy about the small space and the fact that the elevator seemed to be the place that the **insane **group of mechs liked to hang out.

Barricade got in after him.

The seeker stared down at the grounder.

He had changed. He wasn't as shy any more and seemed to be happy with the **insane **group of mechs.

The group would often be seen in the rec room laughing about something.

The unexpected group had drawn together and had become quite close over the week.

Barricade smirked up at him and he returned it.

He'd play along with a prank if it made him happy.

Barricade waved his hand around TC.

"What?"

"I can see your aura."

TC blinked, well he wasn't expecting that, he could say that at least.

Barricade grinned happily, or insanely, up at him before leaving the elevator.

TC shook his head.

He hoped these visits to Smokescreen wouldn't tear the small group apart with Barricade making so much progress.


	37. It's okay

It's okay

The Arielbots got into the elevator, a little uneasy after their last encounter in there with one of the **insane** mechs.

Jazz got into the elevator and they backed up, trying to give him as much space as possible.

The doors shut and he stared at them.

"It's okay, they open up again, it's okay."

They glared at him but he took not notice, whistling as he the elevator got to his floor and he got off.

They pressed 5 on the elevator buttons.

Smokescreen had better be prepared.


	38. Host

Host

Red Alert got into the elevator. Ghost stories in the rec room had made him especially paranoid over the week.

He pressed the button until it stopped on the next floor and Barricade got in.

Red Alert tensed as he remembered their last encounter.

It was silent apart from the sound of their intakes and the elevator rising up.

"I must find a most suitable host body..." Barricade suddenly said in a demonic voice.

Red Alert pressed the open doors button on floor 5 quickly and ran out screaming.

"SMOKESCREEN!"


	39. It is time

It is time

Smokescreen was sat in the rec room when he was suddenly surrounded by mechs.

His optics widened as they all started talking at once, their voices frantic.

"Hey, hey, one at a time. Ratchet?"

"It's Optimus, Megatron, Prowl, Jazz, Soundwave and Barricade. They've gone insane. They _need _a session with you _now!"_

They all looked towards the doors as they opened.

Six black painted mechs walked in.

Speak of the devil...

They stood in a line, staring at the mechs emotionlessly.

The mechs shifted uneasily under their gaze. Smokescreen's optics narrowed. Maybe they _did _need a session.

"It is time..."

The six mechs leapt forward, making everyone scatter and run out of the room.

When the room was empty, the six mechs sat down with cubes of high grade.

"Well...that was fun. Cheers!"


	40. Sane

Session

Smokescreen sat in his office, staring at the six mechs sat in front of him.

"Any explanation for your behaviour over the past week or so?"

They shook their heads.

"Well...everyone has been claiming that you're all insane, and after witnessing that little stunt in the rec room, I think you are too."

The mechs stared at the floor. This was serious. They could get put in the brig, reported that they were mentally impaired and unsafe to have around the ark.

"That was until I saw this on the net."

**_37 Things to do in an Elevator_**

**_ open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"  
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.  
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.  
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.  
5. Meow occasionally.  
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.  
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.  
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.  
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.  
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I have new socks on."  
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"  
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.  
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."  
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.  
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.  
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.  
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"  
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"  
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.  
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.  
21. Swat at flies that don't exist. _****_  
_****_22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.  
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. _****_  
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.  
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"  
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.  
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.  
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.  
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."  
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.  
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.  
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.  
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"  
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.  
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."  
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."  
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare at the wall and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." _**

"Got a little bored did you?" Smokescreen laughed. "It was just a harmless prank. So I declare you all completely sane. You may leave."

The six mechs grinned and exited the office, heading for the rec room.

Jazz and Prowl were laughing down the hallway along with Optimus and Megatron.

But Soundwave and Barricade.

Soundwave walked down the hallway, his arm around Barricade's shoulder.

And before walking into the rec room, he stole one more kiss.

Shockwave stared at the doors of the rec room as they shut.

"I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!"

**And that concludes 37 Things. I hope you enjoyed it and just so you all know I will be updating ALL of my fics over the next few months when possible.**

**Thanks to**

**Hiding In My Writing **

**DragonRid****er2203**

**Ms. Anonymous Smith**

**Zephyra**

**Anony**

**Decepticons-Superior**

**Shuriken1600**

**and**

**Queenofthebloodmoon**

**for the reviews!**


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